God is so infinitely caring, so profoundly understanding and so intensely interested in every single aspect of our lives. His golden threads of love stretch around us and all of those who believe. Sometimes He pulls on the threads to bring someone a little closer to us, so that they can share some of His love and truths into the confused places of our lives.
It’s like a delicate tapestry of love.
Last week a felt a thread of love pull someone closer to me when they send me an email from a Blogger who was writing about suffering from depression and anxiety from the very young age of 7.
When I read it, it was from my place of confusion about why there are so many believers that are suffering from anxiety and depression. I was hoping that it would help me understand where God is in all of it.
But it was sent to me for a reason that was way closer to my heart.
The very day after reading it, our family hit a crisis which had for a while been bubbling beneath the surface but overnight escalated to a point of desperation. Our very own child, who is also just 7 years old, is experiencing incredible anxiety which leads her to need to go to the toilet all the time. If she is encountered with a situation where she thinks she cant go, like in assembly at school or when we are taking a drive somewhere, her need for the toilet and her panic escalates to unrealistic proportions.
As a mom, we always want to make everything better, so my immediate response was to take her to the doctor to establish if there was any physical issue. If not, then we would address the emotional issues.
In all this worrying and rushing to doctor, I never once thought to say ‘lets pray and ask Jesus to help take away these anxious feelings.’
I was too caught up in finding a practical solution.
It was only the next day when I was sitting in front of my computer, rehashing the situation in my head that I remembered saying to her ‘My precious, you need to teach yourself that you don’t need the loo as often as you think you do. Her response came through desperate sobs, as she spoke the blatant truth ‘But I don’t know how!’
My heart broke at that moment. How on earth would a 7 year old have the tools to re-teach her brain.
Well maybe she can’t …. but with Jesus, she can.
To my shock I realized that I had completely neglected to call on the one and only one that could truly help. The One that I so easily run to but didn’t so easily take my own child to – I was too busy trying to fix it myself!
But thank the Lord for my friend who sent the email, and thank the Lord that He lifted my eyes from the situation to my Savior.
And so our journey through prayer began. Its a wonderful privilege to be able to call on Jesus and although I have no idea of my daughters level of faith, I know that Jesus can and I trust that He will meet her where she is at and comfort her in those scared and anxious moments.
I trust that one day I will be able to write about her wonderful over-coming, but until then, I would like you to be encouraged by Melissa’s testimony, which I have included below. She has her own blog Melissa Maimone if you would like to read more about her story.
I’ve experienced anxiety and depression since childhood. It’s been a lifelong battle, one I’ve never fully stopped fighting.
Often, I didn’t want to reach out to God because I was ashamed of how fearful, discouraged and overwhelmed I felt. I wanted to “clean up” before inviting Him in. Believing I had to organize myself before approaching God for help, I tried to shove my messy feelings and embarrassing panic into closets so they wouldn’t show.
But I’ve learned that before I call a friend or try to convince myself not to feel how I feel, I must invite God into my mess. It’s hard. It’s humbling. Yet over and over again, He responds.
Most of the time, His response isn’t grandiose. I’ve never heard Him speak from a burning bush nor received a lightning bolt of happiness. But He shows up in friends, counselors, medical professionals and circumstances that remind me of His presence.
Usually when I seek the Lord, my depression doesn’t necessarily lift, but it will shift. In the light of His presence, shame runs away. I’m beginning to understand the depth of God’s love for me. Not because I have something to offer, but because He is that generous. I am learning that I can bring my whole messy self before God. And when I invite Him in, He simply steps over all that clutter to sweep me up into His arms of grace.
I love the lighter times in my life that have brought me tremendous joy and freedom. However, it’s the darkness of struggle that has taught me the enduring, unwavering grace of God. For that, I am grateful. He is with me in the shadows. He whispers words of compassion and care in the dark, even when I have nothing but messy feelings to offer in return.
I’ve learned that my soul’s deepest need is not for the removal of suffering, but for the presence of Jesus Christ in the midst of my suffering. And I have that. If you’ve placed your faith in Him, then you do, too.
Most of us have experienced difficult circumstances where there is no easy way out. Our first reaction might be to try to escape as quickly as possible. Or ignore it. Or organize the mess on our own. In our panic and shame, we forget that we are not alone in the darkness.
We forget what Psalm 139:11b-12a states, “Even the darkness is not dark to [Him]; the night is bright as the day.” Jesus is there with us. We need only to stay still long enough to discover His presence in the places we don’t want to be.
Depression and anxiety are still a difficult part of my life, but they no longer intimidate me. I’ve learned to find contentment in the darkness as well as the light, because Jesus is with me in both.
If you find yourself in a dark place today, remember that your Savior and friend, the lover of your soul, is right next to you. You can invite Him into your mess. Jesus Christ will not leave you for a moment. He is unafraid of that which scares you most.
Jesus sees every step of the journey you’re on, even when you cannot. Trust Him to guide your steps. And because He knows this painful place as surely as He knows the light, He’s the one who will take your hand and lead you into the sunlight once more.
Dear Lord, help me trust Your love for me even when I cannot see a clear path out of my circumstances. When I find myself in the dark places of this life, show me the light of Your presence. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
We are over-comers in Christ. When we CALL on the name of Jesus, something happens in the spiritual realm.
When we call on Jesus, He saves us by pouring out more of His divine life into us.
Romans 10:12 says the Lord of all is “rich to all who call upon Him.” Christ wants us to enjoy His riches in our daily lives.
The riches which He pours out on us are comfort, peace, love, hope, patience, kindness, endurance, long-suffering, strength, faith, and more—what wonderful riches we have in His name.